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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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I got my personal faves too: the ragged bench near the old brick wall on Gustaf-Heinrich-Platz – sitting there makes me think, “Look at yo’ life, face it!” It's a spot for deep thoughts and existential rants; a weird comfort in a chaotic town. The local market, a jumble of vendors and too many smells, always flipped my mood – sometimes mad, sometimes chuffed.